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05 Aug

I also see people use a lot of “should” statements.

For example, a man looks at the perfect woman for him and says, “I should like her and I should want to call her more.” The moment you say “should,” the more unattractive it is.

Or they go the other way and feel so frustrated that they decide they don’t care about marriage. Stevens: It does take a certain amount of vulnerability and faith.

Snell: In addition, dating as an art form still matters, but a lot of singles in their 20s are not dating. A lot of people want to play it safe in the dating game because they want the other person to make the first move.

If men don’t pursue women, women don’t feel safe and secure, and if they don’t feel safe and secure, they’re not going to act more feminine—something men look for. People are hanging out, and in the process they’re not making the male or female feel fulfilled. Therefore, no one makes a move; it just becomes kind of vanilla and stagnant.

What myths about dating in our 20s would you like to dispel?

Stevens: I think those in their 20s feels like they have so many options, so how would they ever choose one? People imagine this sea of singles within the LDS community, so there’s no urgency.

It seems like they can hold out and look for perfection.

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Ultimately, a woman wants to make sure he makes her feel great as well.Dating in Your 20s This is part one of a four-part series, “Conscious Courtship,” in which we chat with professional matchmaker, Amy Stevens, and marriage and family therapist Alisa Snell.In this post, we’ll examine the trials and tricks to dating as a 20-something in the LDS world.This is a supplementary discussion from a Mormon Channel Daily interview.What challenges do Latter-day Saint singles in their 20s face when it comes to dating and marriage today?