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18 Mar

CFL is like a tidal wave of American men in love with Chinese women, with only a rare American woman/Chinese husband surfacing to break the monotony. Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: “If you’re going to study abroad, prepare for four lonely years.” The underlying message was, don’t expect to fall in love — but be pleasantly surprised if it happens.

There are hardly enough books depicting foreign women with Chinese boyfriends or husbands. When you have a Chinese husband or boyfriend, sometimes you feel as if you belong to a lonely club. One of my dearest e-mail friends, a woman from Germany, once found me on the net because she had a — then — Chinese boyfriend and yearned to find someone to share her experience with.

It happened for me — and a growing number of other women, including bloggers such as the Local Dialect, The Downtown Diner, and Wo Ai Ni.

On occasion, it even creeps into the news, like this story.

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The experience was so traumatic that he never sought another foreign girlfriend again.According to legends, when the Tiber River flooded in 1598, water carried a small boat into the Piazza di Spagna.When the water receded, a boat was deposited in the center of the square, and it was this event that inspired Bernini's creation.For now, though, I’m just happy to have John, my Chinese husband, in my life.Not because he’s a Chinese man, or because our relationship is “unique” or different.